TheCourtRose

I can smell you in my mouth, still Echoes of your scent on my skin, clinging to my hair How did we let it come to this? We've talked so much of thirst but are yet afraid to drink

Snow has clever fingers, I watch them move while she talks and always feel the tug of familiarity Ice blonde hair and blue-grey eyes light up and smile We live so far away from each other now but I chased her across the city this week because this is what she loves Nothing compares to Snow in flight I am shaped like harvest, the smell of apples in my wake So hard to keep up with her but we follow each other and play tag across oceans We catch up and say farewell again She is so warm when we hug to say goodbye and I am left a little colder as I watch her leave The leaves are falling golden and bright It is my time now, but as always, I feel a little lost without her

I am am severely occupied and preoccupied with survival and dignity Lost my bus pass last night, means of getting around this city with an inch of independence A wonky, cascading domino effect Use food money to get to work, tired at work because you didn't eat Gotta walk home now and save on that one bit of faire None of it's fair, but we knew that going in Praying at night that some of the struggle lets up- not all of it (I'm not greedy) just some Big hearts, strong souls and working hands Wanting, needing to contribute But how not to worry about the next day? How not to worry about children yet to be? How not to worry about looming loans in the distance? I am preoccupied with humility One hand, two hands, three hands offering to pull me up Wipe the dust off my back and remind me of less rain ahead They say, I know what it's like to struggle How much it means to buy that one cup of coffee So I hitch a ride with the windows down, relishing time of

Gratitude is defined as "The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness." I've been starting to shut down a bit lately. Not in huge amounts, but getting up later and later for work, having a harder and harder time waking up, not doing as much around the apartment. I don't think I'm depressed (been there, done that) but I am bone-weary and very frustrated. My life simply is not what I thought it would be, or what I think it should be. But should is a very, very dangerous word. Should is defined as "1) Used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone's actions- He should have been careful . 2) Indicating a desirable or expected state- By now students should be able to read . However, looking back, I can't identify the point when I knew exactly where my life was going, or having any specific goal in mind. All I know is that I wanted it to be easy. (Even reading my own c

The word body makes me uncomfortable a here-ness an earthy-ness You simply cannot deny physical existence when you say this I don't want it on my tongue or in my mouth I don't want it near me at all I've watched her my whole life Closed bathrooms door, hours logged away- shaving, plucking, pulling, yanking I wonder who it's all for It may never be for her A tiny ivory body topped with pitch dark hair lost in the current of needles and noise