TheCourtRose

There are a few things I can promise you- Behind this door, there is space enough for tears to fill a gorge and I will bucket that shit out of your boat You can rage and scream and I will gleefully hand you breakables We can paint your toes poppy pink, or use acetone to remove each flake of color We can smash every mirror in this place until we find the one where you recognize yourself I am so sorry we failed you that you would end up at this door at the edge of the world Truth has fallen so readily from your lips  (for so long) but every ear has been unmoved You were born knowing who you are- even if those who have loved you longest  insisted you forget There is time now to stop  To breathe To look behind at how the wooded paths have led you exactly here Do you know where you are now? You are on the threshold of misfits and miscreants Of the discarded and bruised Forget-Me-Nots You are entering a Never Land of Lost Boys and

When we talked about AA over breakfast I could not fathom you giving yourself to God The religions you gleefully straddle seem half pagan-sweet/half adulterous-chaos to me You said that gravity is your higher power It is hard to grasp your lack of contradictions though I am learning to accept people for exactly who they show themselves to be Your eyes- bright bottle green/grey/gold more feral than tame -are distracting Funny because you gave up the bottle years ago Over waffles your misfit company is warm You could be the kindest human I have ever known -or the cruelest So far, you have only shown one face to me I would say the rest of you is in shadow but we both know that is inaccurate All of you is gauntlet thrown at the feet of the world You are a self-deprecating giggle and a matchbook In zero gravity, flames are blue and cold and dim Maybe this is how you subscribe to a higher power For sobriety and burning brightly before it all burns out