TheCourtRose

I'm not sure what got in to me this evening. I think the voices in my head that are constantly bringing me down and telling me "You're not good enough" or "You'll never accomplish anything" or worse yet, "You never commit to anything!" said one too many things today. I'm tired of listening to them. I sat down to write a letter to my dissenters- the shadows in my brain, born from real life bullies or the casual assessments of loved ones, that consistently rake their nails across my confidence. This is my letter to me. *** "Badassery Incarnate in a Badass Suit Made of Badass" I finished high school at the top of my class at the age of 17 (having skipped eighth grade completely) with honors, as an awarded thespian, with a free ride to the local university, with additional scholarships and grants awarded to the out-of-state private college of my choice, with my freshman year completely paid f

By definition it is vindication I sought Absolution A resolution to bone borne guilt Crawled on hands and knees to seek succor from the gravity of experience What was deserved, though, was validation for the shadows of said experience were real The demons that haunted these heels, with teeth all too large, left true damage in their wake The gap expanded between us You- unsure as to the validity of my perceptions Me- raw and broken under the weight of sight Yet, you built a bridge to span the difference Despite any hesitation or reservation, made your way into the space I occupied alone Within the warmth of your understanding, standing inside the light held aloft, there was peace Finally, peace

I miss my mother like the earth misses wind Autonomous until the sounds go silent- she was the breath across my skin in the face of such stillness It was she and she alone who made the autumn leaves dance I am lesser without her I am more with her gone