TheCourtRose

  Let me be naked in your house Help me draw a bath of lavender and salt I will disrobe the ghosts that tug my shoulders Leave me be here in your home Welcome me in when I have nothing to give so I can wash my weary bones

Where I want to be is over there Yet each time I climb on a carousel hoping it will take me one step closer Round and round and round and round Eternally the optimist yet handpicking the same sad story Always ending dizzy, confused, in the same exact spot For fuck's sake I am seriously sick of this shit

I knelt in the grass Nothing would do but to surrender To submit, to remember How long have I slept this time? Dirt under my fingernails washed away Sacred space between my shoulderblades tender each morning Body anxious to move Wings ache to unfurl - brush doorways, encompass space, touch sky I made myself small again Always slow, always on accident "Accumulated acquiescence" Exponential self-doubt giving birth in rabbited fits Spreading to gut, to limbs, to heart, to loins Soon languid numbness fuses to bone Mind is quick to succumb - acquiescence is rewarded so sweetly It is not enough to wake We must wake and wake and wake again We must be feral Shed apathy from our spirit like droplets on wing To remember who we are God, aren't you tired of being so careful? Earth is not careful, neither is sky - we are children of both I am best with dirt beneath my nails, crushed between toes, with wings built from stardust I have always been this way We are so much more than the w

Tree outside is laden with tiny yellow blooms Air thick with the smell of honeysuckle or wisteria but not quite A sweetness I cannot identify, it is foreign to my senses Bees hum by the hundreds a consistent thrum outside my door Just there Only just there I am waking up with you You are close to me Arms are unfolding for you even if my eyes are still sleepy Memorizing the length of your nose and self-deprecating tilt in your lips I yawn and I stretch this way and that way like the ballet of boughs Feeling parts of my body shift and creak having slumbered for years I am hungry So very, very hungry for you There has been starvation in my bones and deprivation in my muscle but you insist upon satiation thoroughness attentiveness playfulness My cup is overflowing with honey before it is even noon I am waking up to you, love How have you been outside my door this entire time?