TheCourtRose

Never did see a lightning bug until I moved here and I've lived everywhere Until here, they were just a fairy tale Even through a cloudy lens of heartache and confusion they light up the summer sky I learned how to catch them- always catch and release No jars, no lids No watching as the sparks die away Sitting at dusk and overlooking the neighborhood of my new life, she said that in some places there are whole fields of fireflies That's where I wanna go I need a night-time road trip Steal away into inky blackness and follow the lights down south That's where they are, supposedly These whole fields of fireflies My face will reflect their light I'll close the car door quietly, because it'll be one of those sacred, hushed moments that only a fool would disturb I will stand, surrounded by silent, iridescent wings Lightning will strike against my skin Again and again and again Until I am whole, until I am healed It's silly, I know ...

She's still in there in the country house off the dirt road 30 minutes from the red, tower lights She's wandering around in there touching the fraying carpets and splintering doors waiting to be saved wondering why no one believes her I can see her through the grimy, caked window No amount of flesh and love can erase her from my mind I walk the hallway behind her a grown-woman shadow of what is to come following what has already been She's still in there She's still in me

There was an arrogance in my withholding A brass assumption you would always want me even after I left for good You were an anchor for my sailing ship Afraid you would drag me under even as you saved me from the wind You move on and I am broken open Maybe if I had the strength to pull you up Maybe if you had the courage to let me go Maybe this story would be different I miss you tonight and how you held me in your sleep Wishing I could kiss your bronze eyelashes and regretting every time I walked out Ashamed I sought in someone else what I should have found in you I am sailing away, too Perhaps it is fear of the unknown that storm tosses my dreams or the knowledge that I gave you so many reasons to be glad I'm gone There is no more pretending, no avoiding the deeply rolling waves, no way to not see I was half the problem After these gales you may never know how much I loved you, or believe me when I say I know you loved me too Wishing if we ...

No money for food and nowhere to go. Wash this all away and sing to me today. Empty living room floor- barefeet on bare wooden planks. Ain't got no place to be, so why don't you sing to me? Take your voice and lift me up, a merry cloud in a cloudless sky. Only your words can set me free. Why won't you sing for me? When all else fails and the world is old, tired faces and tired hands, take me in your arms and sing to me. Ain't no place I'd rather be.

I hate your love Bitter-wife and envy I need your love A chronic taste of longing I will never be satiated I am your undoing A slow, psychotic unravel of both Wicked, sickened cocained smiles Full of promise and charm and up-tucked beauty Handing-holding wiles Obligation, with unwanted duty Who am I to you? Two silver tongues dancing their silver dance Ever touching, ever leaving A moonlit kiss to fade away in daylight

a storm rages on recession, regression, regret there was a softer way I could've chosen a path without thunder or brambles or thorns but I am finding the metal of me wind rips away hair rending flesh from skeleton exposing sinew, bone and organ to the elements of fate there is no shelter here I will find the metal of me unsure, insecure, scrambled footing in the screaming gall one surety ripped away from another counting lightning strikes inside the silence will I be steel, or silver, or gold when this is through? already my reflection is a brass-filled stranger

My new friend calls me Songbird Elvis Presley is close to my lips while I work The others laugh and I smile- worthy of the hour and a half of trains and buses both ways Now I recognize the sweet face of the driver who picks me up at night Her familiarity is comforting as are the other commuters on the train We talk about the movie “Hair Show” One apologizes when he curses in front of me These new things are green, overturned leaves, unexpected colors in a life I thought I knew My choices are now off the already beaten path She calls me Songbird I am following the sounds of this bird to something completely different

Let’s play a game I say Temptress             and you call my name But I’m tired now of trying to be Snow White I am no raven and alabaster beauty I’ve tasted many kisses and tossed many dice I am lonely now, weary of pretty princesses and their 7 little men Too long have I waited to be saved from the dark recesses of my bloody, beating heart I don’t want to sing Manzana’s Song or fly from mouth to mouth in a frozen dream Caramel cannot mask the taste of poison I am done with this fairy tale What I was- broke The ceramic apple fell from my chest, rolled to my feet and when my tears fall in regret I cut it in half to find the hidden star Even though I chose a bitter path in the dark, it was the right path for once such as me So, drop a word, write a line, give a rhyme that mirror, mirrors salvation I say Redemption           ...

The prince hid amongst the cow herd with the entire Universe down his throat and hope inside his chest, fluttering on white wings So they say And I drank that tale like ice-cold milk from a pale green cup Always, there was room in my heart for the adventure of it all- for believing in the wondrous There is room still to find the key to that secret garden to feel wind whip through my hair as I travel to the edge of the compass If a prince living among the cows is hiding the Universe then I stole my eyes from a sleeping tiger and my tongue will sing a thousand starry lullabies My heart beats for the story and there is room enough for it all Too long have I stayed behind white picket fences When I come to my end throat full to bursting, my chest fluttering slowly I want to be stretched around the world so thin, cradling every inch of earth until I am transparent as a pale, jade cup Ice cold milk will pour forth between my teeth and...