TheCourtRose

kiss me, my Winter Queen steal the fire from my lips pull the fertility from my body and fallow the soil of my soul lay dormant the flowers at my feet, pass your hand over my eyes and ask me to sleep let me lie in your arms- a pale December sun casts shadows through the trees overhead my heart beating slower, limbs languid and numb my time is ending- not meant for ice and shadow, wake me when the sun is high again I am safe in your arms, eyes closing against your cold visage- a pale blue sculpture gazing across a frozen expanse your world, not mine kiss me once, and let me sleep

Stops and starts for months, a fitful motor that's finally run out of fuel and faith Singing, Should I stay or should I go now? Too many years of being stomped and pushed and misunderstood Don't know if I have anything left It hurts to breathe Words tumble from your lips, sweet and sincere I know you meant them last night when I made love to you when I shouldn't have I'm sure you'll mean them again today Why now, for Christ's sake? After all this time Hand on the door, foot past the jamb, nice red bricks walling me away, so close to not being in love anymore Even if I had a breath left for us there is too much prior damage done I'm aching and tired, too raw to believe It hurts to breathe Add insult to injury, even if the guilt isn't entirely yours, can't you see I've been here before? Love and protection don't mean much to me Echoes of a childhood on repeat Just wanting the pain to be over, really To take a d

When I poured almond milk into my tea tonight, I realized that this is one of the best days of my life. But let me tell you why. I woke up in my new apartment today, and for the second morning in a row, the sunlight lit up the living room. I went to work by bus. (Because now I live just up the road from one of my campuses.) I attended a phone conference for a staff meeting that I helped organized, for a new supervisor who knows my name and actually likes me. After work, I walked across the street to the neighborhood pound to look for cat that I can now afford to have in my new apartment. Then I walked home. I made myself gluten-free dinner in my new kitchen. When my roommate came home from work we went back to the pound to look over kittens together. I am buying a litter box and toys this weekend, in joyful preparation. Then we went grocery shopping. I bought food for the rest of the week, gluten-free. I used coupons, bought super cheap milk and eggs, and had money enough for Nu