TheCourtRose

a feather for that first heartbreak a feather for leaving childhood behind for lonely sidewalks in far off places wax feathers, silver feathers, wire-mesh feathers, and feathers turned into roses a feather for long staircases and sharp, turned corners ones for picnics on beaches and bright city parks feathers in my poetry and sewn into my clothes with green thread, tied into my hair with frayed orange ribbon sleek black primaries, or fluffy white down boxes and boxes of feathers beneath my bed, next to the thimbles stuffed into pillow cases and underneath sofa cushions a feather for tomorrow, and what has already passed a few in my back pocket, just in case feathers for filling envelopes, sent away to those far off places kept safe, used and cherished, without knowing why until I put them all together with thread and ribbon and took flight today

Dear Q- You're letting him win, you said, letting your past ruin what is good today Ruination and ruin Like walking amongst the fallen columns of my childhood, and overturned statues of adolescence Stepping on cracked foundations and past broken windows Picking up a battered china doll, her face shattered, and her dress ripped and dirty A long, forgotten Holocaust I do not want to live amongst the ruins I will wind through the weeds and fallen heads of dandelions searching for the archway, following the call of your voice until I find my way out I know there are places beyond this In quiet moments outside pain and panic, I can smell the fresh air Your Cybil

I think our bodies talk to each other when you and I are asleep Sometimes I half wake with your voice in my ear and hands caught in my hair, or startle myself with lips kissing your chest, body moving against yours, begging There is no control, no mind to say no, no worries of permission- just suffused limbs, heated murmurs, and need Our bodies managing an eloquence impossible in daylight In the morning I wonder at my swollen mouth and marks on my flesh You roll over and pull me close, asking me how my dreams were last night