Beneath the Ice

Extra tears line my throat from years of swallowing ice. Not fair, not right, that I may drown you, though you are far away from where this started. Fault lines in my heart where places are still healing, misaligned limbs from being mangled, and terrified that now, right this second, you will walk away.
Trying so hard to be together for you, my best for you, all the sexy, curvy, sassy bits that you love so well. Yet you make me honest beyond recourse, and being in pain makes me hide against your skin, or inside whatever sweater you've left at my house.
Flee these foreign feelings like a horse bolting fire. Buy gloves to protect the rawness of my hands. Touching you has made me naked. I should resent you for this, if being your smile didn't light me up.
Don't give up, don't stop waiting, and if I try to walk away, trip my shoestrings. Unnerved and unstrung, cold and unsure, sometimes love to me is running into flames. But for you, I would burn all over. Melting ice that froze my throat, my stomach, my loins, all rooting me into a single space. Loosening tears held fast. Not right, not fair, to risk drowning in me, yet every second more, you step closer to the me beneath the ice.

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