Finding a No

Perhaps there is a No between my shoulder blades
I have separated my toes and looked behind my ears already

I am afraid to dig, to cut my body open and root around
Kept it superficial for sanity's sake

There could be a No tucked into a lung, though
or adjacent to the appendix

It may just be a matter of searching long enough and hard enough-
wanting a No badly enough to manifest its existence inside

My skin is definitely saying Yes-
as are my lips
and hips and hair and hands

Despite my best efforts
my body is screaming affirmation

I don't have the stomach to look inside my heart just yet
It has never lied, nor hidden anything from me

If I slice open my sternum, I will know for certain
and today, I am not ready for that truth

Needless to say
all this unfolding is wildly inconvenient

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